no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I enjoy the company of your penis
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
