So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize