I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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