My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
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