why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I think people are normalizing furries
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
