One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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