I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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