you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
