Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
