I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
