so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
