I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
