I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
