I can text with my tongue
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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