This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
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I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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