Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
All I want is dick and wine.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
