I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
