you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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