he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
