Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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