Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
He did a backflip because drugs
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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