I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize