I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
