found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
