would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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