he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Randomize
