Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
bring money and cleavage
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Randomize
