Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
