At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I came so hard my ears popped.
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