I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
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