He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize