Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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