Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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