Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize