Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
