Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm passing your future prison.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
