Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize