hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just cut my nipple shaving
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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