Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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