absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize