I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize