what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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