remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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