Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
