the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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