my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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