that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
