PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
