Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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