Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
