No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
