I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize