Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
This is my gift to your gina
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Randomize
